Hump Day

Check THIS out! A guy accused of trying to abduct David Letterman's kid plea-bargained and took a 10 year sentence for over-charging to paint letterman's house... WHAT?!

(That's like murdering someone and then plea-bargaining it to a loud muffler and life in jail.)

My question: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE OUR COURT SYSTEM?!"

Here's a good one: Why don't we get all the crooks out of the courthouses, sprinkle a little common sense on the new attorneys, and actually have some fucking decent trials with regular non-crack-smoking, news-reading, educated tax-paying jurers!! Hey, THERE'S A GREAT IDEA!

Court Rule 1: You can't say what you want to say without your attorney saying it.
Court Rule 2: Your jury can't know anything about your case until the trial.
Court Rule 3: Your jury won't really know anything about your case after the trial.
Court Rule 4: It doesn't matter what the jury knows because they're only getting $5 per day for lunch and they just want to go home.
Court Rule 5: The attorneys get paid to get paid. Period.

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While I'm being honest:

Christmas Eve day, 1998, 2:00 p.m. I'm driving home from an office party and get my first and only DWI. I wasn't proud of it, but I did the right thing and went to court to simply plead guilty. You would have thought I brought a bomb into the building when I told the judge I was there to represent myself!! He told me all the things he COULD do and blah blah blah... Long story short, he continued my case and told me I had better have representation or he'd give me up to the maximum sentence... I actually had to hire someone to tell the judge that I was guilty.. Now that's bullshit!

Actually, the rest of the story is real cockah*, but I'll spare you for now.


*For some reason I can't remember how to spell caca.. cacckah.. cah cah..