Choose Your Friends Wisely

Dinner, dance, and a little "Hide The One-Fifty-One" made me feel like a high-school kid again.

I like going to dinner with my buddy "DJ Dave" because his wife, Tawnya is a lip-kisser. Think about that and you'll choose your friends wisely. Tawnya is the second hottest girl in the world (second to my wife, Paula) and by default I can kiss her-- on the lips, both "hello" and "goodbye."

...And we like Dave, too-- but I'm not kissing him. Err, unless I lean to one side after heavy brewery-bouncing and blow out a little SBD in his direction!

**ADVERTISEMENT**
If you haven't been to the Melting Pot, a somewhat bizarre little restaurant on The Hill where you get to cook your own food, you should go there and ask for a waiter named Luke. Thanks, Luke for the pointers on cooking raw meat in hot, melted cheese. He meant it when he said not to leave a fork in the cheese crock-- "It'll burn you." ("It'll burn your face off when the roof of your mouth is done searing," is really what he meant...)
** END OF ADVERTISEMENT**

Here's something funny: (As if...) We stopped on the way home at Brewski's (for guess what?) and there was a cocky supposedly-21-year-old-birthday-punk begging for drinks. Dave and I lined up 4 shots-- three tequila and one Bacardi 151. We waited for Ms. Paula to get back from the ladies room to "do shots" when punk-ass and his friends left the bar (to probably compare penii*).

We three licked salt, shooted tequila, and chewed a lime-- rendering the shot of Bacardi completely lonely. A couple minutes later Paula licked salt, cheered the last shot and said, "What... you don't think I can handle another tequila?!" swallowed, and then chewed a lime.

And then her eyes bulged.

And then she grabbed her throat.

And then she grew hair on her chest. (Insert phrase ITOLDYA-SO here!)

Okay, drink all night and then read that last part again-- It's really quite funny, I promise!

Quick list of other funny things that happened last night:
1) Paula had to pee "real bad"
2) Dave's inherent habit to speed (130+ mph)
3) The cop at the stop-sign laughing at Dave's bellowing song
4) The 1/2 beer we drank at Hook 'N Ladder before we left
5) The Indian lady asking for $1 on the bench (Dave wanted change)

* Yes, that's plural for penis.