Thursday, April 14, 2005

Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Pass

Yesterday, one of my high school buddies (name withheld) summed it up in an email he sent:

Who recalls the '7-11 raids' where we would descend upon the unsuspecting convenience store clerks with a plethora of scams all at once. The giant brown station wagon pulls up out front - Todd and Brett hit the sunglass display and each walk out with a pair in their pockets and another pair on their heads, Bob buys a Big Gulp for $.50 with $3.00 worth of candy bars (the ones in the water-proof wrappers) stuffed inside, Steve or Bill would be putting gum or candy in their pants in another aisle - the clerk stands there with a befuddled look on her face as everyone exits quickly and the 'getaway vessel' disappears into the night. "

To appreciate my high school friends, there are a few key facts you need to know:

1) Paul Boehm was our high school valedictorian-- our smartest drunk. His dad owned "the vessel": a 1974-ish ultra-grocery getter brown wagon that we sardined twenty-one almost-live bodies into. (And yes, Dave... that sentence ended in a preposition.) He's wearing the hat on the (facing the photo) right-hand side of my "about me" photo.

2) Todd "Todday" Holmes somehow ended up as my college roomate. He's now a defense attorney. His motto, "Keeping crime in the Streets where it belongs!" I saved his life three times in college by picking his pathetic skull up by his hair to shake the puke out of his larynx. He, too, appears in my "about me" photo-- guess which one? If you guessed 'the one with the coconut bra,' you are correct. That photo, by the way, was our 20 year high-school Luau reunion last September.

3) Michael "Sha-shah" Sanchez: He was our token Mexican that drove the "shah-mobile" red volkswagon. Nicest guy on earth-- and gullable, too! Saved our other friend Bill from the Mexican Border Patrol by yelling, "I am a gringo!" and paying them our $4.85 pocket-change that was left from our trip to the Juarez Cave. (We should have left Bill with in Mexico!)

It's a wonder we survived. We're getting ready for our "Pinchero" reunion in Vegas... updates to come...


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