Thursday, October 05, 2006

Turn Back The Clock 15 Seconds!!

Okay, so I wind the BFD award tonight. I was trimming Ella's fingernails with a newly sharpened chainsaw and somehow woke her up with a bloody thumb.

GEEZUSS! Of all the mean things I've done, this one actually made me feel bad. Ever have a situation (besides, that time you impregnated your neighbors daughter) when you just wish you could turn the clock back about 15 seconds and do it differently? (Everyone that has an 'ex' knows what I mean...)

And dammit-- I didn't see any warnings on the side of the nail-clippers that said they were sharp. WHAT IS THAT WORTH?!

(I'll not only sue the clipper manufacturer, I'll sue WalMart, QT*, and myself on my daughter's behalf!)

* I tossed QT in there because they just have too much freaking money. Besides, I had to stop there to get gas and it caused more pain and suffering for Ella while she awaited my fixing her thumb.


Blogger Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

Yeah!!! BAd dad....let her roll under the bed AND chew up her little thumb all in one better send her to AUNT JEN NOW!!!

I've NEVER lost my baby under the bed........just don't ask if I've ever used duct tape to restrain a 12 year old......


10:29 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Aw, Poor Ella! Geez Mike, what are you trying to do to her? Just kidding, not like the rest of us haven't make mistakes like that either. Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself. We still love ya.

5:33 AM  
Blogger paula said...

It was pretty emotional, I Mike even shed a little tear or two (Sorry honey).

Mike, didn't you let her fall over and bump her head on the remote too?

I love you!!

8:47 AM  
Blogger Violet said...

*shaking head in disappointment*

10:46 AM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

Fucking butcher!

2:02 PM  
Blogger Nichole said...

All I can say is I didnt start clipping Brax's nails til he was about 9 or so. His daddy always cut them. I was way to scared to LoL and this is exactly why!

6:31 PM  
Blogger Chris Johnson said...

You are such a bad dad!! I am so ashamed of you!! Just wait until Cassa finds out, she will call the authorities on you!!!!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Dr. Mike said...

NOBODY is allowed to tell Aunt Cass!

Next barbeque question: "How'd you like your thumb, medium-rare or well?

Violet: Yikes. I mean, that head-shaking thing is worse then letting me know what a loser I am!

And just so you know, she crawled under the bed after scooting out of her car-seat!!! Who'd've that she could do that?! We're dealing with a prodogy here.

9:56 PM  

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