Thursday, September 14, 2006

CRAZY DIET WORKS!! (so far...)

Okay, here's the skinny: Being a health care professional, I get ALL KINDS of information on dieting, nutrition, etc. Most diet information is silly, including many of the "fad" diets that we've all been exposed to.

Here's what I've been schooled to understand: Calories "in" must equal calories "out", or you store them. Every 3600 calories stored in your body = 1 pound of gained weight.

[Every pound of gained weight decreases your chance of ever getting laid by 2%. Therefore, 50 lbs of fat = no lucky fridays.]

The good news, you tubs of lard, is that we have been taught WRONG!!

[According to Maxim Magazine, every 30 lbs of weight gained = 1/2 inch of FUDA]

During an attention deficit information highway search, I stumbled across a diet that sounded interesting enough to accept my credit card. It seemed SO BIZARRE that I was willing to try it JUST TO PROVE IT WOULDN'T WORK! (Half of me hoped it would.)

Here is the link to the compelling sales page that got me and I urge you to read it. It is the most bizarre thing I've read on dieting.

Simply put, with FATLOSS4IDIOTS I've lost 7 pounds in under 4 days. (The goal is 9 pounds in 11 days.) I guess that means I'm 1/4 inch ... nevermind.

1. You eat only what you enjoy eating (you choose from a list)
2. You eat as much as you want (not making yourself "stuffed")
3. You eat 4 meals per day as oulined on your personal diet plan
4. It only lasts 11 days and you can repeat it if you want for another 9 pounds
5. It's cheap and it actually makes sense one you read the manuscript on "why" it works
6. So far, I haven't had to revert to exercising

1. Day two was a "detox" day in which I had only fruit for 3 of my 4 meals. Ewww.
2. Beer wasn't on the list of menu items for this 11 days.
3. Did I mention that day two sucked? I started craving cookies and meat by 4 p.m.
4. 10 glasses of water / day = 10 trips to the restroom.. and then some.
5. People laugh at you when you tell them your lunch is Roast Beef and peanuts-- all you want.

So far, this one gets the Dr. Mike two-thumbs-up approval.

I'll let you know in a week how I'm doing...

BYW, in case you lose or forget the link, you can find it on my office website as well:


Blogger Dave Morris said...

It was fun today at lunch watching you eat chicken and milk. Chicken and milk... that's it.

My diet is steak and scotch. I've managed to lose 30-ish pounds based on eating less steak and drinking more scotch. We all have to find something that works for us.

If you have trouble remembering what I've just said, you can always go to Morris Voiceovers

3:50 PM  
Blogger Violet said...

Mike... people laugh at you anyway. It doesn't take roast beef and peanuts to do that.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Chelle said... here ;) Interesting post you have. I will check back to see if you lost the 9

9:11 PM  
Blogger MIA said...

mike thanks for your post. I apologize for hurting your friend

2:03 AM  
Blogger Dr. Mike said...

Mia, don't apologize for hurting my friend... I do it everyday!! He's SO pewny!

3:38 PM  
Blogger Dr. Mike said...

Hey! Where's my pic?!

3:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home