Penis Envy

First of all, congratulations to the 300,000,000 person to be born in the US about 5 minutes ago. Welcome to our country.

I am appauled that North Korea can "test" nuclear weapons and I'm not allowed to legally burn a damn M-80 in the neighbors bird bath. WTF? Maybe if I split an atom or two, we'll have a brighter 4th of July next year -- a true "independance day." Let's see O'Fallon's finest citate THAT!

Here's an idea: Give N. Korea a ticket for illegal fireworks. Citate them on the basis they were in city limits and slap on a hefty $50 fine plus court costs. Or MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO STOP PURCHASE OF PLUTONIUM BEFORE THEY WERE ABLE TO BUILD THAT DAMN WEAPONS! I love that they have said they are not afraid... (A classic case of, "Mines Bigger Than Yours.") Why does the phrase "Un-united Nations" come to mind?

"My Bush, what a package you have"

Speaking of terrorism, my mom taught me to get new friends if their names are spelled anything like "Imam Talal Eid."

You wanna know what else? I don't want a free credit score!! I freakin check it once a month because it's part of financial health... I'm sick of the goddamn commercials for home loans and free credit score reports. Why can't they make a TiVO button that will allow me to record my favorites WITHOUT any trace of a commercial? THERE's a money-maker!

Have a great day.