Monday, April 18, 2005

Pitbulls Suck

Today I was to drop off a package at a friends house. The plan was to leave it at the doorstep, but I am not one to follow a plan.

Not wanting to leave valuables on the porch, I decided to ring the doorbell. Half anticipating her absence, I peeked through the stained-glass window and about shat myself when her pitbull bounced off the door with a snarl. Things would have been fine if I had walked away at that point, but she answered the bell and invited me in...

Have you ever met a person who had an ugly, bratty kid and they didn't know it? Well this gal has an ugly, mean dog-- and doesn't know it. The damn thing was biting my leg, growling, and power-crotch-sniffing. Cujo's teeth were so fucking clenched to my thigh that I felt like a fried KFC gizzard at the Downtown "Free" Family Charity Picnic at noon on Saturday.

... then there was the slobber ...

Black slacks and ass-licking dog druel, a combination even a 15-year old single-malt Laphroaig cannot make good.

Moral of my story: Anything that weighs over 200 lbs that can lick it's own ass should be locked in a cage. Period.


Blogger Dr. Mike said...

Sorry, Dave... I didn't think Tawnya would take this story literal!

6:19 PM  
Blogger Dave Morris said...

Help! Let me out of this cage! Dammit, I'll stop - I promise!

3:42 PM  

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