Ronald would NOT be happy.

La dot duht-dahht dahhh. Shooby doo-wah shoo-bumm tahbum dit dit buhdit towahhh.

Enough what-once-was-jazz sound /now gone rappah shit! It's McStory time in Mikeland. Who remembers when McDonalds was a respectable place that simply sold so-many millions, then billions, of burgers? That's right, we ALL remember. Ronald McD was the ONLY clown we trusted because he was always outside the restaurant helping kids have fun. We didn't question whether or not Ron was a "striped, white-tight wearing flamer"... we didn't even question why he always wore a raincoat-- he was just plain cool. Then there where the others: Mayor McCheese, The Hamburglar, Mayor McCrook... there were crazy fry guys, the professor (now I'm showing my age) and of course-- Grimace. Big Mac was a character, not two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce yada yada. And if you could say it in 10 seconds, you'd get a FREE toy.

Today I realized all the McFun at Ron's place is gone. No more "Happy Meals," no more "Have it your way," no more white people working the restaurant, and definately no more "Service with a Smile." Paula and I stopped in Chesterfield for her McBladder: Out of courtesy, I grabbed a Combo #2. You know, 2 cheeseburgs with fries and a coke. Real Coke, not Pepsi or some other Real Thing Wanna-be. The first thing I noticed was that every single person behind the counter was cross-eyed! Actually, the first thing I noticed was that the workers were all Indian. (Now we'll take a break to define my version of Indian: Anyone that looks like, speaks like, and smells like they might be from India.) And they WERE all cross-eyed. (Really! If you don't believe me, go to the Micky D's in that plaza on Clayton and Town & Country Rd... You'll laugh your ass off!) I made the mistake of ordering my bergs without onion. "Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, hold the onions, you'll upset us... no wait! That's another burger king..."

The place was oddly warm. The only person to say anything was the lady that handed me my bag. She said, "muhulalla ind doo geezburdegers mint fler-ize daht mit Cocad?" WhenI looked up at her, I couldn't tell if she was looking at me or the only other schmuck at the counter! I said, "Excuse me?" then she repeated, "muhulalla ind doo geezburdegers mint fler-ize daht mit Cocad ver dou?" as her one eye sort of drifted vertically...

I don't think this is the way Ron planned it!


"Have it whose way?!"