Turbo Recycling 101

If you've been to my house on a weekend, you'll understand why I've gotten "pink slips" from O'Fallon garbage and Recycling. Our pick-up day is Monday which is convenient after our 3-day liver persecution.

Today I followed my usual pattern and erected a stack of cardboard ON TOP of my recycle bin. When the recycle guy (whom actually seemed happy to have a job unlike most garbage collectors) used the freakish mechanical arms to load my cardboard art, it did as I figured and fell all over the ground.

Paula convinced me to help the poor bastard pick up the mess he made and here's how the discussion went: (My thoughts have been put into quotes, my actual words are in quotes.)

me: "Hi! I guess I stacked it a little high, sorry."
(Hey, fucker! Did you actually think that stack of trash was going to defy gravity and jump into your earth-mover? Damn shame it's 95 degrees out and you're picking up all our shit...)

him: "Oh, it's not a problem. This is nothing compared to a bunch of 'em I pick up."
(Hey fucker.. did you actually think I'd pick up your shit?)

me: "These containers are worthless."
(These containers are worthless!"

him: "Well, the city is weaning off of these two-lidded recycling containers. We just got a new shipment and they are much bigger."
(These containers are worthless!"

me: "What do I have to do to upgrade to the new container?"
(Just fucking take my damn can, and have them upgrade me a new one!)

him: Actually, if your container is destroyed, we'll bring you one right away for free. I'll just destroy yours right now and you can call the city and tell them you need another.
(I'm the recycle guy-- I'll recycle your shit.)

me: "Uhh, okay. Thanks!"
(WTF? The recycle guy wants to trash a perfectly good bin! That's AWESOME!!!)

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Next Weeks Lesson: How to get a new trash can...