Today's "Cliff Notes" News

I've decided to highlight the current events into a 20 second overview:

• Iran opens Nuclear Weapons Plant. [And this is a problem?]
• Bird Flu still a problem. [Mostly in Turkey? How ironic!]
• Sharon "Cher-Rone" is still dim.
• Australia and US donate $50 to clean the air. [Half of which will go to Bill's Garage.]
• Trees produce 10-30% of world's methane. [Fart Trees?]
• Wang Usok owes $30 Million back for fraud research on cloning. [He probably should not have claimed that "he himself" was a clone.]
• Artist chains legs together in desert, loses key [and gets dumb-ass award]
• Don't Spam. They're cracking down. [As if...]
• Bone-Shaped Doggie cell phones available. ["Uhh, is that bitch Fido there?"]
• Organic Pet Healthfood Available [I'm starting to see a pattern]
• Dr. Mike Williams, Chiropractor of the Year-- again.