Monday, July 28, 2008

New ATT Contract

My New AT&T Wireless bill arrived today. I figured it would be the same yada yada phone bill information with a bunch of fine print at the end.

I was wrong.
There is no fine print-- it's all large.

Here's an exerpt (page 12 of 17) from the manuscript:


Thursday, July 24, 2008


While conversing with my friend, Dave at the mall (yes, at the mall!) we stumbled across some popular (and not quite so popular) acronyms:

MILF: Mom I'd like to _ !*
DILF: Daughter I'd like to _ ! (Keep it legal...)
BOFE: "Bofe of dim, I'd like to _ !

* and by __ I meant "find"

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Actually, if you work at the McDonald's in O'Fallon, you'll probably not see this blog because YOU GO TO WORK WITHOUT YOUR BRAIN.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like a number 21 with a large coffee, please."

"Would you like anything else?"

"No, thanks!"

"Would you like anythink in your coffee?"

"No, thanks."

"Would you like hot sauce for your burrito?"

(pause) "Uh.. no thanks."

"Your order will be $3.72, please pull forward to the first window."

I pull forward, pay, then pull forward to the second window. I picture someone behind the wall dropping two microwaved burritos and a potato thing-a-majig in the (huge) sack and then she hands me the coffee and bag.

Again, the McSteps to "have it my way" involve the following:
1. Drop 2 microwaved burritos in a sack
2. Drop 1 potato thing in the sack
3. Give me the sack

Apparently, this McStooge can't do three things in a row because I'm sitting at my desk with a sack large enough for about 15 burgers and there is no fucking greazy potato thing.


Friday, July 18, 2008

Poor grammer O' the day!

Quote from a guitar sale in eBay: (Why is this so annoying to me?!)

"here's a sad story ok i build customs guitars for people
and i built this one for a guy who was really excited for it and had me make a
different fretboard for it and had it painted but here's the story a few months
ago a guy placed an order for one of my lyss customs and said he wanted the
finish to look like a les paul but we told him we only do natural finishes but
long story short before we could finish his guitar he sadly died in a head to
head car crash and now we have his guitar owner less so we decided to sell it
here now this guitar is brand new but!! it is altered from original specs and
there for we are cutting a normal price in half has some dings from who ever
painted it and the paint job is not a pro job but is a good one this guitar is
high quality now this guitar is all your favorite guitars in one
you have the body shape a mixer of a prs and a parker,the curves a mixer
between a prs and a fender the tonal quality of a gibson this i
a amazing guitar you got to play to believe"

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Friday, July 11, 2008

My New iPhone

I drove by the AT&T place in O'Fallon today to see if my friend Dave was in line for the new iPhone. I didn't see Dave, but I saw about 40 tired geeks awaiting the paperwork for the new technology and was "Trekkie" admiring his new black box.

I decided to run to Lake St. Louis (about 5 minutes west) and watch the symphony of nerds, and was surprised by the lack of apparatus freaks. I walked in, bought my iPhone and left.
Peace to all.
sent from Dr. Mike's iPhone blogger