Thursday, March 23, 2006


that's what it's called when your blog doesn't appear ... unless you scroll the screen up and down a couple times.

Dear Meth Lab Technician:

I'm desperate and I need your help.

I've got a sinus infection and the Walgreen's pharmacy won't allow me to get Sudafed because I got a box of ten 12-hour pills 6 days ago.

I find it quite ironic that it's easier to get an over-the-counter drug on the streets than over-the-counter.

If you have any extra Sudafed (preferably the 120mg tabs as in Aleve Cold and Sinus) I'd appreciate a reply. Meanwhile, I think I'll drink a bottle or two of Nyquil to help me sleep through my snoring from sinus congestion.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Paula's Cravings

Since Paula is about 5 months pregnant, she comes up with some doozies. Today in the sky there was one cloud. I said, "Hey, look.. that cloud looks like a centipede!"

She looked out the window and said, "Mmm, it's a bratwurst cloud..."

Friday, March 10, 2006

Today's My Goddam Lucky Day!

Two things I traditionally don't eat before I go to the office: Rare meat or onions.

Except today.

For some unknown reason while at Quizno's I ordered the prime rib sandwich (hold the onions, for Christsake!) and enjoyed every single tender bite before returning to the office.

A construction friend of mine was lying on the table, face down, when I thrusted the chiropractic adjustment to his mid back and "THHRRRRRP"... I farted.

No, not an SBD but a genuine melody that even Bill's Garage would envy.

"Wow!", I said, "Excuse the hell outta me-- Are you okay!"

"What was that?", he asked (as if he didn't already know!)

"I just adjusted your back so hard, it knocked the shit out of ME!"

Why am I so lucky? Absolutely no scent-- None. Zilch, nada.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Missouri DMV


Has anyone ever had trouble with the MO Dept. of Motor Vehicle?
(please comment)