POKER?! I hardly know 'er!

My public apology: Dave , sorry for touching my ass on your window while mooning Dr. Jeff and Mikey last night. (Yes, I did.) I dunno-- maybe it was the 'ol Alpha Omega fraternity in me.. or maybe I just never grew up.. or perhaps I'm just disturbed Here's my recollection of last night's poker tourney at Harrah's casino:

It wasn't my idea: In Harrah's Poker Room I registered on the waiting list with the name "Vagina." I told them 'Gina (jyn-ah) was my preferred nickname, but they insisted on using the full name. "Vagina... hold'em on table 8 please." That was my cue to join the table and I went along with it.

"Are you Vagina?"
"I actually prefer 'Gina because people make fun of my full name."
"So your really Vagina."
"Technically, yes."
[There was an eternal 2-second pause from everyone at poker table 8 to check me out like I was a three-legged midget]

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Lesson, Chip Your Cards: The bonehead to my left threw his cards against mine so it kicked me out of the game. Yeah, pretty fucking funny except I had $50 on the table with an Ace/King suited. Prick.

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Fugly: Before getting the casino, we stopped at a local restaurant/bar for some pre-poker beverages. While looking around the bar we noticed something peculiar: For every 3-some of girls in the bar, two were pretty and one was ugly. 33% of the bar gals are like lichens... riding on others as a host to gain popularity.

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"... and also with you"